Little Victories

I have been tired today in a way that makes me bone weary. Sluggishly I have managed to cook dinner, fold laundry and pick up and deal with Sam. I even took a 20 min walk with Tony. And I am TIRED. It is the fatigue that is killing me. I lay down to rest and get up feeling no better. I wish I could SLEEP and wake up and think to myself, "AHHHHH that is what good sleep must feel like."  Even on the B12, I am not feeling much change in my sleeping.

I had the EEG this week which didn't help the sleeping as they made me stay up and get only four hours of sleep before the test. I tried to schedule the last test my neurologist needs today and spent an hour on the phone before my weariness forced me to admit defeat and lay down before I had to go get Sam from school.

That being said I weighed in at 184 today and put on a size 14 for the first time in months. It was nice to feel that my body is getting back to the way it was before my spiral down to complete dis-ease. I went to the grocery store and promptly forgot why I went. If Sam hadn't been with me I don't know that I would have remembered. We got home and he helped me inside. I hate seeing the look of concern on his face and it was what motivated me to rest for about a half hour and then make his dinner. I am determined to be as strong for him as I can.

My other small victory is that I am coming under my Fat limit every day but my carbohydrates are nearly always over. I am trying and I feel like the fat is more important than the carbs.

Alice sat on my feet most of the day another sure sign that something in my body is noticeably off today.

The other thing I found out a few days ago, was that I was taking the wrong medications. Tony and I have decided that he is going to have to fill my box until my mind is better so that it doesn't happen again. It was likely why I was so depressed when I wrote last. Today it isn't depression that is my battle, it truly is the fatigue. If I could only rest, deeply, soundly, then I am almost certain my mind would come back to me.